Saturday, April 11, 2009

TV-Reviews-"A Really Weird "Celebrity Apprentice", "The Unusuals"; "Surviving Suburbia"

Couple of TV reviews this week. First-“The Unusuals”, a cop show that should appeal to both men and women with its, eh, unusual cops, humorous storylines, and very believable scripting.

Second-“Surviving Suburbia” with he who looks like the guy most likely to live in this suburbia we are to believe he despises, his hip and happening self, Bob Saget.

I go into a rant about this dumb show and my rants are not to be missed.

Finally an update on “The Celebrity Apprentice” of 4/5/09, viral videos, over-exposure of those Rivers people, and scripting too dumb to believe.

All with pics and video you’ll find nowhere else on the Internet.

Pic of the Day
largest pool in world

”Surviving Suburbia”

ABC Home page for this show HERE.

Oh please.

Another situation comedy about a disgruntled fellow living in the hell of suburbia and struggling to get through it? With Bob Saget as the Star?

First, here’s a true story. I once lived in a little community known as, I’m not making this up, “SUBURBIA”. One week some liberal weenie for the local liberal rag, “The Baltimore Sun”, wrote an article mocking the community of “Suburbia”, mostly because its name lent itself so well to liberal mockery but truth be told, this community was the very picture of suburban sprawl and all the angst this sort of living brings upon, insert sarcasm here.

I owned a little house in this community of Suburbia. I bought it, with my husband at the time, for, tada, $19,000. My husband up and left me even before we moved in and after the heartbreak, I kept that little rancher and it became the beginning of my own American Dream.

Suburbia had a school within the community and it had a community swimming pool. My daughter attended that school until we moved and I managed that community pool until it went the way of community pools across the fruited plains what with backyard pools so relatively cheap and such.

In fact I met and married another fellow and we bought yet another home in this community of Suburbia, this a big ole split-level with an eat-in kitchen and split-foyer. We bought that house for $50,000 after selling that other little house for $32,000.

After that snobby Baltimore Sun writer wrote that article I sat down and wrote a huge response. I ranted and raved about how Suburbia was an American dream for this young lady who grew up poor but managed, as a single woman mind you, to own her own home before I was even 21 years old. Well I went on and on. The week following, the Baltimore Sun printed my lengthy response as it has always, evidently, been in me to write. In fact the Baltimore Sun put it on the front page of the local section, above the fold!

The interesting thing here is I had no idea my response had been printed in the paper but that night there was a meeting of the Suburbia Community Association and right after I entered the meeting room , everyone already present stood up and gave me a rousing standing ovation.

I had absolutely no idea why this was happening. Someone brought a copy of the Baltimore Sun over to me and you could have knocked me over with a feather.

This is a true story. I checked the web site of the Baltimore Sun and they only have the paper archived back to 1990. My story would have been around 1972/1974 or thereabouts. Maybe someday I’ll do more research but it really did happen.

Some might say my response was kind of hackneyed as I did go into a boo-hoo about my poor abused child self and how wonderful it was to own a home in a pretty community that HAD TREES for God’s sake. The writer of the article said there were no trees in the community of Suburbia, trying to create bleak and barren picture of ticky-tacky homes surrounded by brown, brown, brown.

Anyway, back to this very stupid series about Suburbia and note please that once again there seems to be some idea that folks living in suburban communities are somehow deprived, denied and miserable.

At least Bob Saget is but ah, yon reader, Bob Saget’s picture should be under the Wikipedia definition of “boring, ordinary, white male” so his angst at being “forced” to live in Suburbia is a bit unbelievable.

I suppose I am the worst person to review this series as to my prejudice against those who think it’s not possible to take a generic kind of house, in a quiet and ordinary type of community, and make it your very own through artful decoration, paint and landscaping. In fact, heh, after that split-level yet ANOTHER husband and myself purchased my father’s house, a run-down affair that would rival the Adams’ family home for curb appeal. It was located on a small creek off of the Magothy River in Merryland, the lot was sloped and triangle shaped and defied constant care.

surviving suburbia montage

Husband and I lived in that house for fifteen years when we finally sold it for a real nice profit and guess where we live now? IN A LITTLE SUBURBAN COMMUNITY TICKY TACKY HOUSE IN DELAWARE FAR AWAY FROM THE LIBERALS IN MERRYLAND!

We’ve had quite enough of originality and non-conformity, thank you. Our current house is very ordinary but we love it, we love our nice flat lot, we love the tiny community where we live where we’re not especially close to the neighbors but we know they are there. Once a year we have a community yard sale but beyond that there’s no major interaction and most of us, transplants all, like it that way.

Thus we have established that I think the premise of “Surviving Suburbia” is a dumb one, have we not? Especially when characterized by Bob Saget his very ordinary white-bread self.

The show airs on Mondays, now at 9:30 pm after ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” which lead-in is required as no one would bother hanging around. The premiere show had, tada, Steve Patterson, Bob Saget’s character, dealing with such as handling keys for neighbors, dialing up prostitutes, precocious children and one funny scene featuring Jere Burns as Dr. Jim who ends the episode naked on the Patterson couch.

Maybe you hadda be there.

My advice? Don’t bother.

Below, the funniest scene from the premiere episode…which is not about the star or his precocious children.

ABC’s “The Unusuals”

On Wednesdays at 10 pm EST, ABC, this is a show hyped as a cop sort of MASH.

Well I don’t know about that but I’m kind of thinking that this show just might have a future. For one thing, it definitely should appeal to men, a criteria very many of the shows I tend to like do not have. It should also appeal to women in that it’s quirky, funny, offbeat and not filled with violence. Judging by the storyline of the premiere episode, the stories as told seem to be the stuff of reality, the kind of thing I suspect police departments across the fruited plains must deal with.

I recall the lady who called 911 because McDonald’s wouldn’t serve her McNuggets so it’s not a stretch to imagine a fellow bitter at cats that inadvertently killed his wife through toxoplasmosis. In his tortured mind, the cats that cross his path needed to die for the torment they caused him. Of course there’s humorous scenes leading up to the capture of the cat killer, including “lie detectors” that are really copiers, famed citizens convinced the murder of their cat was personal and finally trapping the cat killer in a car filled with…yes …cats. He confessed just so they would let him out of his cat-filled car hell.

Montage The Unusual

“The Unusuals” has a bunch of rather odd detective types and this adds to its quirkiness. One fellow desperately wants to die in the line of duty, another is terrified of death so much that he never removes his bullet-proof vest and does, to the dismay of those with whom he works, often vacate the crime scene at the most inopportune time for his fears.

All the while the sergeant of this precinct is looking to rid his ranks of the weirdos and in one move to this end he recruits a vice squad cop who has secrets of her own.

Detective Casey Shraeger is played by Amber Tamblyn, best remembered for “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”. Adam Goldberg plays Detective Eric Delahoy. Delahoy is looking to die on duty but if for nothing else but preserving his place on the show, we suspect Delahoy will remain alive. We also suspect his exploits towards that death on duty will make for interesting storylines.

I’m not sure I predict a runaway success for this series but I think it has some things that might make it happen. Begin with a script that has a few ongoing storylines, add some good acting with great characters, keep it real, human, believable…this one could be a winner.

”Celebrity Apprentice” –Bizarre Viral Videos and Eliminations

First, let me say right now that I am sick of Joan Rivers and her spawn, Melissa.

Which is not to say that they are not fine members of the celebrity assemblage gathered to carry this reality show but seriously folks, Joan and Melissa are given way more air time than their own brand of celebrity deserves.

4.5.09celebrity ALL commercial pic montage

The challenge for this show the night of 4/5/09 was to create something called a “viral video” for ALL, the laundry detergent.

I didn’t know that night as I watched, and which could have been explained to the viewers a bit better, but a viral video is a commercial that because of its weird and unusual content is posted on Blogs, Youtube and such, or delivered by email. In other words, it’s a video created to advertise a product, yes, but it is spread by the USERS across the vast Internet with the original goal of product exposure gained instead of going through more normal and socially correct advertising agencies.

Thus the videos so produced would be also expected to have outlandish content, perhaps a bit x-rated, zany…all to prompt those who view it to laugh enough to send the video on to other viewers.

It wasn’t your ordinary soap commercial is what I’m saying here.

The teams were mixed up a bit in that the male team, KOTU, had far fewer members for their many losses than the formerly all female team, Athena. So Joan Rivers was separated from her daughter, thank God, for the first time, and ended up on a team with country music singer Clint Black. Jesse James ended up on the team with Tionne Watkins.

Clint was Project Manager for his team and KOTU’s viral video involved a silly joke Clint told while the team was ruminating over their task. It involved a husband/wife team who used the euphemism “doing the laundry” for having sex. The product being touted was ALL laundry detergent. The joke involved an invitation extended by husband to wife to do the laundry, a rejection by the too-busy wife, a later acceptance by the wife only to be turned down by the husband who already did the laundry “by hand”. Ha,ha,ha.

The Athena team had Jesse James wearing a dirty shirt in a Laundromat and he ended up being scrubbed clean by three midgets. Said midgets then got into a brouhaha that had them throwing scrub brushes at each other.

Well I have a montage of both the viral videos at the end of this post but warning, they are both dumb as all get out and frankly I wouldn’t ever send on either of them via email to anyone I valued as a friend or acquaintance.

-Jesse James-founder of West Coast Choppers
-Dennis Rodman-5 time NBA champion-sent home 3/29/09
-Andrew "Dice" Clay-once dirty mouthed comedian-sent home 3/1/09
-Joan Rivers-talk show host
-Herschel Walker-Retired NFL player
-Khloe Kardashian-the Kardashian without the nice ass-sent home 4/5/09
-Tionne "T-Box" Watkins-R&B singer-sent home 4/5/09
-Natalie Gulbis-Professional golfer
-Tom Green-Actor, comedian-sent home 3/15/09
-Claudia Jordan-Actress, model-sent home 3/22/09
-Clint black-country music star
-Brande Roderick-Actress and Playboy model
-Brian McKnight mutli platinum R&B singer
-Melissa Rivers-daughter of Joan Rivers
-Scott Hamilton-gold medal olympic figure skater-sent home 3/8/09
-Annie Duke-professional poker player, motivational speaker

Two things about this episode were very fake. First, Trump ended up firing Tionne AND Khloe for really stupid reasons.

Second, Joan Rivers launched into a diatribe against Clint Black that was so obviously scripted and fake that I wanted to punch her. In fact, this past week Joan’s been on various commercials lambasting Clint Black and expressing her hatred for him and come on folks, Clint Black is one of the most gentle members of this series. Just because he had a dumb idea for that video doesn’t make him Atilla the Hun. But Joan Rivers is likely one of the more well-known celebrities on this year’s Celebrity Apprentice so her trumped up fake tirades probably bring attention to the series which should be ramping up more viewers with an eye towards a winner and grand finale.

Two people were fired last week because the ALL people didn’t like either of the viral videos produced, as well they shouldn’t have.

Tionne was the winning PM last week, covered on this Blog HERE. So, please note, Tionne’s charity already received a monetary reward. Trump fired Tionne because as her team’s project manager pointed out, Tionne volunteered to go into the board room for elimination, all part of being part of a big, merry and loyal team.

“Never volunteer for an execution,” The Donald said as he fired Tionne, ostensibly for doing such a thing. I think it’s just as likely Tionne had to move on to other professional obligations and since her charity had already won, perhaps also part of the plan, well her innocent, even notable, act of volunteering to stand by her team leader became a reason to send her home.

Khloe Kardashian turned out to have gotten a ticket for a DUI and goodness The Donald’s sure taking on the vice of drinking this year, isn’t he? Khloe had to miss the prior week’s challenge for having to attend a class for drinking and driving and, I suspect although The Donald acted like his firing of Khloe was because of her crime of drinking and driving, that Khloe was unable to get out of those mandatory classes.

I don’t think an obligation to appear on the “Celebrity Apprentice” is a legal excuse to get out of repaying society for such a wanton disregard of the law. The Donald did give Khloe’s charity its financial reward and made a big deal out of firing Khloe for drinking and driving when again, I think she couldn’t get out of those classes.

There’s nothing wrong with how last week’s challenge came down. The viral videos were amusing if not hopelessly dumb. But it was a story, a task, a surprise ending.

It’s just that scripting for this episode was really a stretch for the viewer to suspend his or her disbelief.

Below an abridged version of the two hopelessly dumb viral videos.

To the Main Blog...Over a Million Page Views


There were a few surprises in the bottom three on American's Idol Birthday night-4/7/09.

In fact, the contender sent packing was only following the advice of vaunted Judge Abdul.

A review of AI 09's birthday night, a prediction of the top 5, the video your DVR failed to record, the top three and worst performance of the night.

All with pics and videos you'll find nowhere else on the Internet.


He staples his scrotum to his leg for giggles and grins and now he dances horrifically. And yet he stays around while others must dance off to stay in the contest.

A football player and singer fall to the bottom two, one goes home, yet Steve-O hangs in there on Paso Doble/Viennese Waltz night on 2009 “Dancing With the Stars”

All with pics and videos you'll find nowhere else on the Internet.


Tina Fey is an angry woman and it shows, unfortunately, in her acting in the film “Baby Mama”, reviewed in this Blog post.

The movie has its funny moments but it’s no great paean to thought and morals, make no mistake. It’s definitely a chick flick, let us not mislead.

The biggest surprise is the role played by Steve Martin!


1 comment:

  1. Hye Guys, now days I am enjoying my holidays by watching Wizards of Waverly Place Episodes online. This is rocking show and my favorite series.