Saturday, March 21, 2009

TV-Catch Up on Celebrity Apprentice 09-BRIDES, and Review-NBC's "Chopping Block"

We catch up on Trump's rather lackluster 2009 Celebrity Apprentice. Tom Green goes home but we learn things about his testicles we'd didn't need to hear.

Also, a review of the very odd copycat of every cooking show on TV, NBC's "Chopping Block".

Pic of the Day
dog and man oddly in dresser drawer

Review-“Hell’s Kitchen” Without the Cussing and “Celebrity Apprentice” 09 Boringly Plows On

Celebrity Apprentice contenders below
Duke Annie
clay andrew dice-sent home 3/1/09
mcknight brian
roderick brande
black clint
jordan claudia
rodman dennis
walker herschel
james jesse
rivers joan
kardashian khloe
rivers melissa
gulbis natalie
hamilton scott-sent hom 3/8/09
green tom-sent home 3/15/09
watkins tionne

Been a couple of weeks since mentioning The Donald’s boring “Celebrity Apprentice” on this Blog.

Oncit upon a time, Donald Trump had a great idea. He would bring promising executive type people on his series and via a number of “tests” he would cull down the field until the greatest amongst them would be the winner and would be given a well-paying job in the Trump empire.

National attention became riveted on the show and soon the name Omarosa was household stuff. Like “American Idol”, “The Apprentice” became the talk of the beauty salons and relatives argued around the family tables.

Then The Donald got Martha Stewart involved in the thing and that was a disaster. For the last few seasons, The Donald has gathered celebrities in need of exposure, much like “Dancing with the Stars” and using contributions to charity as the “reward”, we have “Celebrity Apprentice” and folks, it ain’t quite the same thing.

First, all reality shows are scripted to some degree. Some more than others, of course. ABC’s “The Bachelor” is practically total fiction with real life characters thrown in for a touch of reality. “American Idol” is mostly real because beyond the clothes, song choices and backdrops, you just can’t fake singing well.

So too is “Celebrity Apprentice” scripted but The Donald has struck a one-note chord and it’s really off-pitch.

As I’ve often wisely, and correctly, pointed out, The Donald is a bit obsessed with celebrity. He loves to hobnob with the hoi polloi and that does not include you and me. Well maybe you, yon reader, but definitely not me.

So most of the tasks assigned to these ersatz “celebrities” involve the ability for each of them to bring in monies from other famous peoples they know. For example, one recent episode had a playboy bunny “celebrity” getting many thousands of bucks out of Hugh Hefner.

The average American, God love us as we carry this country on our backs whilst raising the soldiers and citizens of tomorrow, knows few people able to hand over thousands of dollars to purchase a moldy cupcake that we may win the task of the week.

But it is, yon ladies and gems, “CELEBRITY” Apprentice so we get this.

Except it’s kind of boring. The tasks must, because of the brazen commercial aspect of the show, revolve around the business getting a big mention of the week. As in Joe Blow’s Bakery being involved in one task this year involving the making of cupcakes.

On 3/8/09, the task involved creating a cartoon hero type of character for the web site
“ZAPPOS” . A web site I never heard of but hey, they got lots of mention on The Donald’s “Celebrity Apprentice” and they had to make a big donation to charity for the honor. I wonder how much they “paid” to The Donald for “production costs” and such but hey, I’m just sayin’… Nothing wrong with making a profit.

Anyhow, Scott Hamilton, the required Olympic Gold Medal winner contender, was Project leader for the men’s team-KOTU. For whatever stupid reason, he did not have his character’s name begin with the letter “Z”, and given the web site it was to represent, a Z was definitely called for. Instead Hamilton called the character, get this, “EEE”, for, allegedly, “everything, everywhere, everytime”. Yeah, I thought it was dumb too. Hamilton got fired for it, which was well deserved.

The scripting had Hamilton and Green fighting in the board room and at one point we had Green talking about his and Hamilton’s testicles, I am not making this up.

This task, of course, set up Tom Green for the following week’s task, as I do think these celebrities’ order of elimination is thoroughly scripted. On 3/15/09, the assigned task was to sell wedding gowns and I think it was some designer or another that got the hour long commercial for the contribution to charity.

Dennis Rodman, that bad boy of basketball, is a contender on this series and most of the shows up until this point have featured Rodman prominently. Rodman is more well known than most of the contenders this year and hey, he is colorful. For the bridal sale, Rodman did not show up to help sell bridal gowns at the shop set up by the men. Rodman did, however, get somebody to bring in a bunch of money. Which is kind of the problem with this series as The Donald has it. The celebrities don’t really have to do much work so long as they know someone willing to donate lots of bucks and this concept seems to be very contrary to the premise of the original “The Apprentice”, in its heyday.

Tom Green is a bit of a doofus, not to mention having only one testicle. He was the project manager of the male team of KOTU and even HE showed up late to sell wedding gowns and Green didn’t have any rich benefactors sending in lotsa money.

Tom Green got fired this week and now the men’s team is down THREE contenders and have yet to win a task!

My First Celebrity Apprentice Review

The Chopping Block

Folks, frankly, the review of this show HERE, does as fine a job of reviewing this new rather weird entry to the world of cooking reality shows as most anything I could add.

Pierre White of Chopping Block

The author of the piece linked above says right off the bat that this show is a combination of many shows and that was my first thought when I watched this NBC offering for the first time.

I suppose it most resembles “Hell’s Kitchen” but Marco Pierre White has waaaaay more class than Gordon Ramsey. And White doesn’t cuss and yell either.

In fact, White is often featured sitting alone at a table, musing on the meals, tasks and challenges he has, or will, give to his contenders and you’d think the man was talking world peace, the horrible effects of global warming, and the tragedy of the current American banking system.

Mentioning the author from my link again, Jeremy Medina, a fine writer may I add, he says the show compares to Top Chef. On this I must disagree. “Top Chef” is way better than this show could ever hope to be.

The contenders on this show are, oddly, COUPLES. Some are husband and wife, some mother and daughter. It doesn’t seem to work somehow.

Again, like Jeremy, I will likely watch the show again but won’t write about it. I love cooking reality shows but this one needs some real overhaul.

And Marco White could really use a toke or two it seems to me.

In thoughts this week, the Bad Guy of the Week is actually a chubby female. The Good Guy is, surprise, a Republican who showed some gonads.

Also, time for some serious cute, with a visit to a pet store caught on video.

Much more.

ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" 09 had the first dancer eliminated this past week.

Find out the dancer every contender wants to get hurt, the dancer that surprised everyone with an amazing comeback and finally, Melissa Rycroft's parents decide to show up!

All with pics and video you'll find nowhere else on the Internet.

It was Grand Ole Opry night and a good time was had by all in American Idol 2009.

Carrie Underwood returned, and not a single contender sang anything that sounded like a genuine country/western tune.

With pics and video you'll find nowhere else on the Internet.

Here's a book Review for Aphrodite Jones' true crime book-"Red Zone".

For Marjorie Knoller is an idiot, married to an idiot, and when idiots raise killer dogs, innocent people like Diane Whipple die horrific deaths.

The amazing behind the scenes story of the San Francisco dog mauling case.


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